What Everyone Wants
Imagine an intervention for you. You’re sitting in the middle of the room surrounded by ten of your closest friends and family. They’re all seated in a semicircle facing you, likely with a doctor or therapist alongside them. You’re apprehensive, having been brought here for some unknown reason, but are willing to hear what was so important that all of these people gathered here on the same day at the same time to speak with you.
They begin at the same time, all speaking in unison, and this is what they’re saying:
You are loved
You are lovely
You are good enough
You are wonderful
We will always love you
We will always support you
You don’t need to change
You don’t need to do anything
You deserve our love
You will always have our love
We will support you in anything that you want to do
You can do anything that you want to do
You can be anything that you want to be
We only want you to be the best authentic version of yourself
Being yourself is the greatest gift that you can give to the world
We will always be here for you
If you need anything we will always help you
You have our unconditional love
They all look directly into your eyes during these words. They keep repeating these words over and over, for what seems like an eternity. At some point, you feel a cracking, or breaking down of your former self. You feel tears streaming down your cheeks, and feel a warm glow emanating from your face and head. You have never felt so free, so loved, so safe. It is a joy that supersedes mere comforts. It feels like you’ve been wearing a shell that has just fallen off you. The word confidence doesn’t really apply any longer, but rather infinite self-love. While you haven’t been a religious person previously, this feels like the love of god coming down from above. Such a gift this feeling is. What did you do to deserve it? It doesn’t matter. It’s amazing. It’s divine. It’s all powerful.
This feeling, of being truly seen, truly acknowledged, and truly loved for who you are, unconditionally, is craved, sought, and desired by every human. It is often given to us by our mothers, if we are fortunate enough to have a loving mother, and is eventually lost as we mature, separate, and proceed through life on our own, creating our own identity, or shell, to protect us. We forget what this feeling is, and yet we have an emptiness inside us that reminds us that something is missing. This emptiness calls for validation, for acknowledgment, and for unconditional love. We all want to be loved for who we are, not what we do, not how much money we make, or how good looking we are. We want to be told that no matter what happens, that love will still be there for us, waiting for us. We want to be supported in following our dreams, and living our most authentic selves. We want someone to tell us that everything is okay, that we are “good enough,” and that just being ourselves is all we need to do.
It’s a beautiful idea, and it’s an even greater feeling. In summary, it’s called self-love: the ability to pour unconditional love all over yourself like a thick layer of syrup. It’s a vast reservoir of good feelings and endless energy that is on tap at all times. The intervention scenario is just one possible path to an individual realizing that they too, are lovable, and that they are good enough. If we really, truly believed that we were lovable and good enough, then we’d be able to overcome so many struggles, miseries, depressions, and possible suicidal moments in our lives. We’d be able to withstand an insult and not feel the need to retaliate. We’d be able to use this self-love to heal ourselves, and in turn, give unconditional love back to others.
Once you find self-love, or the “greatest love of all,” as Whitney Houston called it, it is a turning point in your life. You now realize what every other human truly craves. You realize that if you can give this gift to other people, if only for a moment in time, that you could potentially change their life for the better in the same way that yours was changed.
We can’t go around giving positive interventions to everyone in the world, but we can give ourselves this self-love once we find it. If we can fill ourselves up with this endless love, we are better able to give others unconditional love. Unconditional love can change the world. In fact, I can’t think of a more powerful force that humans can transmit. The fact that we can harness this unbelievable power and transfer it to other people, like an intensely bright spotlight, is truly a gift. For those of us who have found “the greatest love of all,” share this most precious of gifts, and inspire and love others to the best of your ability. To those of you who haven’t found “the greatest love of all,” know that you are good enough, that you deserve love, and that one day you will find it, deep inside yourself. It is a gift that keeps giving, and it’s been hiding inside of you all along. How cool is that?
