As I was walking through a trail on Cape Cod today, I began pondering the meaning of life. Within the past year I had a psychedelic-fueled spiritual enlightenment experience that brought such intense euphoria and a sense of oneness with the universe that words only insult its grandeur and paralyzing amazement. Since coming back down from my nearly 6-month manic trip, I’ve tried to process what it all means. I saw the world through the eyes of a child, rather than the eyes of the 37-year old man that I am, and it was spectacularly glorious. But, as anything that good must, it came to an end when I needed to start working and making money again. For as wonderful as shedding your ego and living in “oneness” with the universe is, that mindset makes it extraordinarily difficult to have a job, make money, and interact with the world in an economically viable way. 

Thus, I walked that crisp spring day, trying to integrate that other-worldly experience, with the day-to-day droll that seems to occupy so many of our minds, as we trudge forward trying to survive another day. I knew that living like a monk, in near silence, having beggars go into town to sustain my way of life was clearly not the answer for me. I also knew that I would never again be the same, and I could not simply return to the “rat-race” as if nothing had ever happened. Yet, how has that life experience translated itself into actionable change in my life? 

The nature path that I was walking on one minute, and venturing off the next, showed me the answer. You see, most people enter into the nature trails, staying on the path, rarely straying from the marked trail. They move fairly quickly, as these paths are well-maintained, and they find little resistance. Also, since these paths are well traveled, they are safe, and clearly marked, showing predictability. There is little chance of becoming lost if you stay on the path. One’s steps inevitably move fast on the path, and after walking the dog, or “getting your steps in,” the person often returns to her car. 

But, a whole world outside of the path also exists. It is less well-known. It is more difficult to walk, since the brush is higher, and there is no maintenance or trimming. Sometimes, a stream must be crossed, or a thorny vine must be displaced. One can also become lost venturing off the path. There is risk. Yet, there is reward. For, once off the path, there is no chance of stepping in the feces of the horses and dogs that frequent the paths. Also, there is more silence, as one distances himself from the busier trail. It is in this unknown wilderness that one must slow down, tread carefully, listen carefully, and truly observe nature. During these times, we can “lose ourselves,” and become lost in nature’s beauty and enchantment. 

But neither the path nor the wilderness is “the answer.” Rather, it’s a careful balance of both. I recognize that a life spent walking in the wilderness will surely be filled with struggle, confusion, isolation, and loneliness. Yet, a life only spent on the path will lead to predictability, boredom, and the sensation that life is “rushing by.” It is only by having a healthy balance between these two worlds that we are able to enjoy the best of both worlds, without becoming burdened by the extremes of either. It is hard work to balance these two extremes, and is work that likely continues a lifetime. But I can see no greater goal in life than to improve on this balance every day. 

Balance, it’s such an anti-climactic answer to “what’s the meaning of life?” But trust me, if the answer was just one thing, we’d have already figured it out. The magic and beauty of life lies in this gray, murky area, where a careful and patient mind can continually assess the balance of following the well-trodden path, or the untamed wilderness. How much of either you seek at a time, and how deep you wish to go into the forest before returning is entirely up to you. Good Luck!