Would you like to be “one with god?” Would you like to be in blissful harmony with the divine? Would you like to have no fears, no worries, no guilt, no anger, no depression, and no self-hate? Would you like to feel closer to someone than you ever have before in your entire existence?

You already have...but you don’t remember. 

We all developed inside of a uterus, at least as of 2020. We all had this unbelievably amazing experience. The experience is buried deep in our minds, and is occasionally accessible to us. Tapping into this experience, I feel, is both analogous to, similar to, and quite possibly the exact same feeling as being “one with god.” Let’s delve deeper. 

Most humans develop identities and form egos throughout their lives. An identity is generally required to interact with other people effectively. We need a name, a sex, height, attributes like funny or smart, and eventually a career. The constellation of characteristics, skills, and life choices that collectively form our identity  largely limit what we accomplish and how we live our lives. Trying to live in a society without an identity is virtually impossible, akin to a crab trying to live without its shell - we are simply too vulnerable and mushy to sustain ourselves without this protective shell. 

But humans aren’t born with an identity - we must form one. This process happens all too quickly, as we already have a name the moment that we are born. Bam, right there on the birth certificate is a new Caitlin, along with a sex, and a race. So much is already established before we even speak. Yet, just moments before birth, there was largely an identity-less creature existing in the womb. What was the experience of this creature? What was its identity? 

If we look briefly at spiritual sects, we see that most of them contain a deep meditation or prayer element to them. In fact, some of these sects have nirvana, enlightenment, Samadhi, or another word that essentially means shedding of one’s ego/identity. These spiritual sects try to detach the human from its identity, and form a union with the divine, or a sense of oneness. The practices of these sects often include prolonged periods of isolation, lack of sensory input, slowed respiration and heartbeat - essentially a reversion to the life of a fetus in the womb. In fact, the Buddha only achieved enlightenment after meditating continuously for forty days. 

It is this silent, still, black, thoughtless backdrop to which we now turn. Imagine yourself as a fetus, floating weightlessly in a warm pool. You don’t have any stress. You don’t even have to breathe. You can quite simply relax 100%, and let everything go. There is no tension in any of your joints. There are no furrows in your brow. There is no to-do list. There is nothing to prove. There are no mistakes. There are no regrets. There are no goals. There is simply being. In fact, there are no words to give any of these unpleasant thoughts or ideas any weight. You are simply there, alive. You sense motion, and stillness. You hear your mother’s breath, and her heartbeat. You are rocked to sleep. 

This is bliss. This is harmony. This is a timeless peace and tranquility that so many spiritual sects strive to achieve as the end goal of humanity. Strip away an ego, and revert to a timeless state in our minds, where we had no worry, no identity - just being. This is what being in utero is like - the closest thing to being one with god that our mortal forms will likely ever achieve.