I have an idea. It turns into a goal. I devise a plan. I visualize achieving it. I work hard. I suffer. I compromise. I refocus on the goal. I work harder. I compromise more. I strive. I visualize again. I learn. I evolve. I accomplish the goal. Then poof. A new idea forms to replace the previous goal, and the cycle starts again. 

This same cycle can be applied to literally every challenge, or goal, or even peak experience that we try to accomplish. Every time a new idea pops into our head, we falsely believe that accomplishing it will give us a sense of satisfaction, happiness, fulfillment, and joy. Yet time and again when we achieve this goal, overcome this challenge, or even have a peak experience, that momentary joy seems to vanish from within our grasps just as quickly as it arrived, and we are left empty-handed, to develop a new goal to fill in the void once again. 

It reminds me of chasing the horizon. Everything is there waiting for you “just beyond the horizon.” Yet, every time you “arrive” at the horizon, you end up back where you started, and the horizon has just shifted. It seems as if you’ve made no progress at all. This sense of accomplishment, or achievement, doesn’t last, and we’re left to continually walk towards a horizon that always extends further. 

It also sounds no different than a person with a drug addiction, chasing the high. This person is seeking an ever higher, or more enjoyable drug experience. Each time he pushes his dose higher than before, seeking this elusive “horizon,” but every time he pushes it, he simply craves more. He is never satisfied. This dangerous cycle of unending grasping for peak experience in heroin users is what leads to so many overdose-related deaths. 

It appears as though this endless seeking for higher intensities is hard-wired in our brains. Give a mouse a sip of soda, and it’ll overlook its water. Give the same mouse cocaine, and it’ll overlook the soda. Give the mouse methamphetamines, and it’ll overlook the cocaine. This pleasure feedback loop in the brain can lead us to dangerous places, and is likely the same neurochemistry involved in goal setting and challenge formation. 

I suppose the issue lies in the illusion, or delusion of the person, who believes for a short while that achieving that goal is going to lead to his ultimate satisfaction and happiness. As long as the person remains aware that each new goal accomplished will only lead to the formation of a newer, and larger goal, then it’s all good. The process of improvement, hard work, compromise, sacrifice, and learning, are all valiant actions, and may very well lead to an improvement in many personality traits of the individual. But living in a delusion that this time will be different is what makes me cringe. 

The bottom line is that no challenge, goal, accomplishment, or peak experience will ever last longer than but a short while. We will always crave higher levels of stimulation and dopamine release from our brains. If we realize that the horizon will shift with each approaching step, then we can readjust our mindset to realizing that the lifelong journey is the key. How we live our lives, each day at a time is key, and how all of our actions accumulate to tell a story of who we are as an individual is key, rather than how many goals or accomplishments we achieved. One could have every trophy on his trophy case, but be an altogether awful person. If he treated his family, friends, and employees poorly, then his level of achievements pale in comparison to the sum total of his actions. He was still a mean, disrespectful person, who sought accomplishments of his own goals at the expense of others - that’s the story that I see. 

Hopefully, we can begin to see that how we affect other people in our lives is generally more important than what goals we accomplish, especially if it means that we hurt or disrespect others in the process. Life is actually more about being, and less about doing. The horizon will always move with you, but if you are able to enjoy your current position, then you can learn to find satisfaction, happiness, and fulfillment more consistently than those who are constantly seeking the next horizon. The choice is yours as to whether you have a more consistent sense of satisfaction and fulfillment on a daily basis, being mindful of those around you, or whether you seek the constantly moving horizon, achieving short, but intense bursts of validation, sometimes irrespective of how it affects those around you. It’s as simple, and as complicated as it sounds. But when you’ve grown tired of the continual goal-pursuit and feel a hollowness that can’t be filled, know that there is an alternative, altogether more satiating way to live. You just have to accept where you are right now.